Divorce attorneys have seen and heard a lot of stuff, and that means there are some pieces of advice they've developed that apply to most cases. It can speed up the process a bit if you understand these three basic things every divorce attorney will share with their clients.
Keep the Divorce Simple and Practical
Yes, there are serious emotional challenges that many people encounter during divorces. In fact, having someone there to keep the focus on the practical and legal aspects of the process is one of the best reasons to hire a divorce attorney.
Realistically, though, it's best if you can keep those issues under control yourself. Your divorce attorney can't go everywhere with you, and that means they can't deal with the nearly inevitable dumb texts that most exes send.
In the legal arena, venting rarely wins you points. Keep things as practical as possible. If your ex refuses to do so, there does come a point where you just give them your lawyer's number and tell them to refer all complaints to the law office.
Figure Out the Musts
When dealing with divorce issues, you're going to make some compromises. The question is always, "What must you get when the dust settles?" If you're worried about having a place to live, for example, then financial support and a house matter. If there are children involved, a reasonable custody and support arrangement will be a must.
People do get caught fighting over things that aren't musts. Fighting over who gets the dog, for example, isn't worth it unless you're 100% convinced the animal will be abused. If you can trade something that means little to you, such as your spouse's ridiculous truck they love, for something you care about, such as jewelry you want to keep in your family, then make that deal.
Face Compromises
Some folks have an instinct to put the screws to their ex, but the courts aren't fond of such actions. Compromises are coming. Presuming there isn't a compelling argument to the contrary, for example, a couple with kids is probably going to end up in a joint custody agreement.
To the best of your ability, try to make compromises work. If your ex can't give it their best, the most you should do is document their actions and conduct in case you need to go to court for a custody or support hearing.
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